Monday, 16 May 2016

Hell Reviews - Drag Me to Hell

Synopsis: Director Sam Raimi (Spider-Man trilogy, Evil Dead series) returns to the horror genre with Drag Me to Hell, an original tale of a young woman’s desperate quest to break an evil curse.     
Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) is an ambitious L.A. loan officer with a charming boyfriend, Professor Clay Dalton (Justin Long). Life is good until the mysterious Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) arrives at the bank to beg for an extension on her home loan. Should Christine follow her instincts and give the old woman a break? Or should she deny the extension to impress her boss, Mr. Jacks (David Paymer), and get a leg-up on a promotion? Christine fatefully chooses the latter, shaming Mrs. Ganush and dispossessing her of her home. In retaliation, the old woman places the powerful curse of the Lamia on Christine, transforming her life into a living hell. Haunted by an evil spirit and misunderstood by a skeptical boyfriend, she seeks the aid of seer Rham Jas (Dileep Rao) to save her soul from eternal damnation. To help the shattered Christine return her life to normal, the psychic sets her on a frantic course to reverse the spell. As evil forces close in, Christine must face the unthinkable: how far will she go to break free of the curse?

Oh man...where do I even start with this one?
It's absolutely atrocious, from start to finish.
For some it may be a 'so bad it's good' kind of film, but for me it was 'so bad I regret wasting my time'.

This is one of those films where the advert made it look so good! I was amazingly eager to see it and revel in one of the 'scariest films of the year'.
A little side rant here, how do things get things be the 'best comedy/horror/action' movie of the year when the years has just started. So often something will be advertised as this in the early months, from January-May, and to me that just kind of shouts; "We don't have much hope for this movie."
Anyway, back to this atrocity.
What were they thinking?

The story itself had so much potential, but the execution lacks so much that it barely constitutes as a horror film and comes across more like a comedy.
Given a half decent writer and director I think this film would have done alright and not become the laughing stock it is, I mean even the kings of stupid movies and jumpscares could have done a better job (Looking at you, Insidious and Paranormal Activity people,) and most of their movies are utter trite.

The acting can be laughable at best.
I was honestly surprised to see Alison Lohman had quite a few things under her acting belt, but  I doubt many of it has her in the lead position.
As the main focus of the film, she came across so poorly, but the writing was also so bad that you have to kind of wonder if that's her fault or if the director just couldn't get his tone right and therefore her performance slipped as a result.
It seemed Alison was only there because they couldn't get Kirsten Dunst to appear in this travesty. Sam Raimi sure loves the 'squeaky clean, cute blonde' look for his stars.

The characters were unlikable in every sense of the meaning.
I didn't feel an inkling of sympathy for Christine as she came across as a self entitled bitch.
I'd have rooted for the Lamia the whole way if the old woman wasn't just as unlikable, you silly woman, pay your damn debts and stop cursing people, then maybe you wouldn't have to beg and be humiliated in public.
The boyfriend was completely pointless to be frank, only there to push in the whole 'perfect life' angle Christine had going for her before her life went to shit. Ultimately he is forgettable at best and irritating at the worst, which is a shame...I kind of like Justin Long.

Everything was ridiculously predictable.
The séance scene with the damn talking goat was the best part, next to the ending of course.
I admit...I kind of like the last five minutes in bits and pieces, even if some of it was eyeroll worthy.

All in all, it's good for a laugh with some friends, but don't go into it expecting anything spectacular.
If you can, give it a miss and waste the spare hour or so bashing your head in a doorframe, it's much more enjoyable.

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